How to Love and Appreciate Yourself | Self Esteem

How to Love and Appreciate Yourself, boost your self-esteem and confidence appears to be one of the XXI centuries main issue. I would like to say is a preoccupation but some people are so affected by the lack of these attributes that it becomes an issue. An issue is when exterior factors affect you to the point that you start to act and behave in a self-destruction manner or you project your actions towards others in the same undesirable manner.

Table of Contents

Self-esteem
  1. What does self-esteem mean?

Self-esteem means loving, appreciating and valuing yourself for everything you are and mostly for what you are not.

To appreciate and value yourself means to believe in yourself and in your ideas with all your strength and to love all your physical features as they are. Obviously, this does not translate into rigidity or stubbornness or narcissism. Accepting new ideas based on arguments is constructive, but letting yourself be influenced and giving up your ideas just because x person said it or contradicted/discouraged you are destructive. Accepting advice translates into taking full advantage of opportunities when they come knocking at your door.

To love all your physical features they do not mean narcissism but it means that you accept that you are unique, that you are different and the perfection does not exist.

Self-care is never a selfish act — it is simply good stewardship of the only gift i have, the gift i was put on earth to offer to others

 – Parker J. Palmer

Self Respect
  1. How to come to believe in yourself?

First of all, you have to analyze yourself very well to understand exactly how you are, what you want and what is right for you. Then, it takes a dose of wisdom and detachment to accept that you are different. We are all different and unique, so what is right for x person will not necessarily be right for you, and his/her story will never be your story. Wisdom generates the capacity for acceptance and an understanding of things beyond oneself, and detachment is necessary in order not to be overwhelmed by the desires and pressures of those around you (family, friends, colleagues, society). Of course, all this requires a lot of introspection and work with you and the results can be seen in years. Yet is totally worth it. Personally, I started this journey as I like to call it a few years ago. If I’m not mistaken about 4 years ago. I made huge progress but the battle is not fully won. Of course, it all depends on your personal background, your personal experiences and traumas, your education, surrounding, environment, patterns you followed and so on.

But, with determination, everything can be overcome. In the end, that’s what believing in yourself means. Believe that you can overcome everything that’s not healthy and constructive for yourself.

  1. What self-love does it mean?

To love yourself means, all of the above, plus always complimenting yourself when you look in the mirror, being gentle with yourself when you think you are wrong or feeling that you are failing and last but not least, offering you various rewards. For me personally, proof of self-love is the fact that I do not allow a year to pass without offering me a vacation, regardless of whether it is in the next city or abroad. Another proof of self-respect is shopping 🙂 or creating a beautiful and relaxing environment at home. I don’t know how you are, but I can hardly get out of the house. I simply love my house and I always give it something new in terms of decor. You do not need to spend a fortune to make your home beautiful, some of the work from my house I did myself with the help of YouTube tutorials, some staff I bought it second hand or from flea market etc. What’s important for me is the end result. And as long as my house which is in fact an apartment does reflect my personality, my taste and gives me a sense of comfort and relaxation means I reached my goal.

Another proof of self-love is the moments of relaxation. Being a Leo the preciousness is at the highest level, personal comfort is an aspect to which I care a lot hence, I do put a lot of work into it.

And of course, loving yourself can mean everything that makes you feel good! So, I challenge you to build your own list of what will bring you a drop of joy such as good music, a massage, a moment with you, a glass of wine or a good meal, etc. and strive to offer it at least once a week. 

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  1. How self-respect is connected to respecting others

Above all, the greatest proof of self-love and self-esteem is not to set for less than you believe you deserve. Do not accept to be treated with disrespect from anyone, to choose your life partners among people who show you respect, appreciation and support to whom in turn to show the same thing. People who respond with hatred or are disrespectful do nothing but screams their own pain and failure. Remember that!

Self-esteem is reflected throughout all our actions on all life aspects.

To all this, add a little work with yourself every day. If you feel you do not have the time, I suggest you apply the 1% rule that you can find out about here.

We don’t judge people when we feel good about ourselves

     – Brené Brown

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6 Responses

  1. Great post! Yes, we need to value and believe in ourselves. We all deserve to take time and do what gives us joy and makes us feel good. I have found through the years that people criticize what they don’t like in themselves. Thank you for sharing!

    1. That’s so true when I first heard that I didn’t want to believe because is hard to accept that you do have that particular thing in you, yet after a serious introspection I find out that is true hence I started to work with me and rewrite my believes and attitude.

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